"I've blogged, I'm cured.."

I haven’t been very good about getting thoughts and ideas out here.. Not that I haven’t had anything really to blog about – but for a variety of reasons those thoughts never make it to the fingertips..

Which brings Me to one of the things I’ve been pondering: “why do people blog in the first place??”

Some say it’s a wonderful way to just journalize what’s happening in the common day-to-day structure of life.. Others have taken the entrepreneurial approach and have tried to score lucrative book deals or to be published after sharing their day-to-day activities.. Some folks (and communities) use their blogs to come together, share ideas, thoughts and troubleshooting problems or issues.. Others find a deep therapy in releasing pent up frustrations.. Some enjoy being the center of attention, placing themselves in a fishbowl for the world to see..

It ultimately doesn’t matter why people blog.. I’ve been blogging for a little over 2 years now.. I’ve run the gambit of expressing that which is going on in My life.. The great times, the not so great times, the venting, everything.. I blog because it is an outlet for Me – a process of where I sort out thoughts and emotions, to better understand them so that I can better act upon them..

Above all else, I made it My own personal pact that anytime I do rap on this keyboard, I’m not doing it on anyone’s behalf.. Likewise, I really don’t care if I offend, piss off, or otherwise rile up the masses to a state of revolt.. We don’t always have to agree with each other in life.. Likewise, The Journey has become an extension of who I am as a person.. I don’t blog “politically correct” or to seek approval, or to fish for complements.. I blog because these are the thoughts, feelings, opinions and ideas that I have..

That said, I do appreciate the comments, thoughts, and support of everyone who has stopped by during their ritualistic browsing.. I even appreciate the criticisms, differing points of view and other dissenting opinions..

Of the things I’ve learned about Myself and the whole blogging process, I’ve learned that as much as they can be just as harmful as they can be beneficial.. Oftentimes we don’t see, or don’t realize that an excessive, often obsessive amount of emotion is a bad thing; regardless if you have a creative outlet in a blog, in a musical instrument, in a basketball pickup game, a punching bag, or whatever other channel of choice being utilized.. Harboring such quantities of emotion may represent a much deeper, more grave problem.. Relying on these outlets may only worsen the problem because the individual may believe: “I’ve gotten it out, therefore I’m better now” – just because you put a band-aid on a broken arm doesn’t mean it’s all better..

Um – not quite..

Is it good to release pented up anger and emotions?? Surely.. But it also doesn’t dismiss the possibility that there is some underlying problem or issue.. Sometimes we just don’t see it.. Sometimes we don’t want to.. Sometimes we rely too much on outlets to resolve our inner-conflicts..

That’s a tough one for Me especially..

While there maybe improvement, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m better.. My anger issues in particular have improved, but I’d be stupid to say that “I’ve blogged, I’m cured..”

Again – not quite..

I’ve started an offline journal that tends to have less substance, yet at the same time is has a lot of spewful of raw, untamed thoughts without any real conclusion or cohesiveness.. I’m not sure why I separate out the two, but for some reason I’ve felt a sense of paranoia that My words aren’t making sense – when in reality if it’s *My* blog and *My* thoughts and it makes sense to *Me*, then I shouldn’t really care how it comes across..

I’m not sure I’m making sense now – which only proves My point…

*sighs*