Humor: The Bic Pen + Amazon...

As danae can attest, I have a rather different set of wiring in My head -- so there are certain things that just ... well ... send Me off the deep end.. This is one of those things.. It would appear that some Amazon company decided to sell Bic pens through their Amazon website store front.. Now the thing I love about Amazon is to read the user comments -- as sometimes you can get some real unedited opinions about a piece of merchandise..

That's the setup..

One bic pen..

124 (currently) reader reviews of .... the Bic pen: you may now proceed here...

My favorite reviews in just the first two pages:

"So needless to say my friends were against the purchase, but I bought one anyway.
Shipping was expensive, but if you are willing to wait for several weeks for your purchase, the price does become manageable.

The beauty of waiting two weeks for delivery is just daydreaming about the words you will write once you get it.

Overall I am happy with my new pen, I use it to write words and also scribble. Sometimes I hold the pen like it was a cigarette absent-mindedly, or chew on the end. The ink is tasty and free flowing. I wish I could have bought more than one, but my last name isn't Rockefeller. Keep a close eye on this beauty, because it is easy to lose and people try to carry it off like thieving scoundrels if you don't watch them.
Overall I give this purchase 3 stars, it is pricey, and the cost of shipping is prohibitive. But it is fun to write things such as grocery lists and signatures.
If your goal is to write a ransom note, subway graffiti or perhaps a little note to your ex-wife asking her and her new husband to enjoy living in your old house, I would recommend a felt-tip marker, perhaps red in color. Sharpie Brand makes very nice ones. "

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"While trying to stick the pen behind my ear at work, I inadvertantly jammed it into my right eye.

It is definatly more painful than most pens, and the ink feels much more corosive."

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"As a physician, life and death decisions are a daily occurrence. On rare days when no such decision avails itself, I go to the nearest seafood restaurant and solemnly point to the most spiteful-looking lobster and laugh menacingly as he is removed from the tank.

Nonetheless, one day I was using my Bic Crystal ballpoint pen, medium point, black, on rounds. On approach to the nurse station, a rather attractive young hire pointed out that I had a thermometer on my ear. I could only summon the wherewithal to observe that some arse must have my pen.

Please also note that the main difference between this instrument and a rectal thermometer is the taste."

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Yes.. I relate to these people because they bring out the absurdity in life and take their creative prose out on something as incredibly stupid as the Bic pen.. Oh, how I so desperately want to participate, but since everyone else is doing it -- I must find another mundane item and leave My own mark...

....perhaps the paper clip....

hmmm -- must ponder this a bit more...

Christmas Part Deux

Tomorrow is Christmas!!

No.. That's not a misprint..

Yes.. I fully realize that tomorrow's date is officially Saturday December 29th..

No.. I haven't totally went off My rocker.. (well, no more than usual I guess)

danae and I are celebrating Christmas tomorrow!! Complete with Christmas songs, fresh brewed coffee, wrapped packages, stuffed stockings, and freshly baked cinnamon rolls!! And if you're still scratching your head wondering exactly what in the hell I'm talking about -- we're celebrating Christmas Part Deux -- to complement the celebration that happened already earlier this week..

"Why??" you ask....

Because danae and I talked about making this holiday for ourselves - even though I love My family to death - it's simply not the same.. We spent a nice extended weekend with them and got to see My whole family while celebrating a very white Christmas.. It's not that I don't enjoy spending the holidays with My family, I just love the time danae and I spend with each other on Christmas morning with our pussy cats enjoying the cheer, the treats, the gifts, the thoughtfulness and the love.. There's a very profound peace in that..

So - tonight - we're both giddy like little kids sayin' that "Santa will be coming here shortly" - even though he made his official pass around the world 4 days ago.. Tomorrow - we celebrate it for ourselves, to each other and enjoy the holiday as if it were the real deal all the way down to the meal!! (okay - didn't mean to go all "Dr. Seuss" just now...) But what matters to us the most is spending the quality holiday time that escaped us all last week -- and over the day of Christmas itself.. It's not as though anything bad happened -- it just wasn't the same as it is with just the four of us..

For those of you who might be shopping, skiing or watching college football -- just know that there's a couple in Colorado that's celebrating their Christmas twice and loving every minute of it.. The holidays are a very special time to us - and we'd both like to extend our best wishes to our friends and family for a very happy and prosperous New Year..

...and to our very special friends back east who just recently brought a beautiful baby girl into the world today - Congratulations!! Our love is with you both and to your very lovely little girl!!

Merry Christmas everybody!! (honestly - haven't fallen off the rocker...)

What is it with Loreena McKennitt?????

I swear to God - I have no idea *why* - it just *is*....

But for some unearthly reason, Loreena McKennitt has become the ultimate cat tamer in this family.. I might be a cat whisperer or sorts, but whenever it comes to transporting or driving My pussy cats anywhere -- there is but one melodic solution: Loreena McKennitt.. Since I'm the driver of the family, I can only do so much and can't dedicate the kind of attention to our pussy cats like I would want to..

Some additional background: My boy cat used to like to ride in the car with Me so as long as he could sit right next to Me.. This worked for awhile and then as he grew older, he would panic more and had to be caged.. When I did this -- he'd cry, moan and complain - getting it out of his system before eventually wearing himself out and sleeping the rest of the way to Denver..

My girl cat - she doesn't like the riding experience at all.. In fact, we plan on her getting sick generally within the first 30-45 minutes of our trip.. Nearly like clockwork - she'll get sick.. Can't figure out what to do for her - as we've asked the vet and the motion sickness pills didn't do jack for her.. It's just gotten to be a fact of life whenever we take the kidlets with us anywhere..

But in the middle of their transportation, both cats would continually annoy us with their chorus of meows, yowls, and other assorted "complaining" that they were riding in the car.. Sometimes I believe they are doing their own rendition of "dueling banjos" but that's just an unverifiable assumption.. But in the end, it would create the most incredibly irritating, distracting tendency of theirs.. Now -- I hold no angst against them.. Afterall, they're crated up and merely just voicing their complaints to us..

So - we have sought any number of remedies - ANY remedies.. From the medical to the obscure.. Nothing worked except that we found that Loreena McKennitt is the answer for some mystical, bizarre reason.. And it can't be Enya or some other similar artist.. We've tried Michael Buble', Sarah McLachlan, we've tried other New Age artists, orchestral soundtracks -- you name it.. Even tried talk radio - but you can imagine that if Rush Limbaugh pisses Me off, then you know what it must do to My pussy cats..... (/cheap political stab)

But this afternoon - we're on our way back from Denver.. We had Loreena McKennitt going for awhile and like clockwork, both cats calmed down.. danae opted to put on some Christmas music from our XM radio - and all was good for awhile.. It wasn't really outlandish.. It's traditional and contemporary holiday tunes.. But our girl cat woke up and obviously felt that something was wrong.. There was no Loreena McKennitt playing any longer from our XM radio -- instead being replaced by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra..

A move that would not go un-noticed...

Oh - how I tried to reason with the girl... I would stick My hand in the backseat, through her cage bars, in hopes to try to calm her down.. But the meowing persisted.. The yowling persisted.. And the complaining ... persisted.....

I mentioned to danae: "maybe we should try to play Loreena McKennitt again..."

I kid you not..

It was within a minute....

No..

It was within 30 seconds....

No..

It was within 15 seconds.... that My girl cat all of a sudden relaxed.. She chilled out.. Mellowed to the max.. She was without her meowing daemon - and actually started to have a small look about her that would be consistent with complacency of getting her "Master" to change the channel to a more appropriate genre of her absolute liking....

In other trips, we've gone 250 miles by repeating the SAME damn Loreena McKennitt CD over and over and over again.... So in an effort to study this phenomenon closer, we got other Loreena McKennitt music and again, for the same completely unknown reason: the cats behaved in the very same cooperative, docile manner..

So while the Loreena McKennitt kitty cat whisperer phenomenon continues to mystify us, whatever magic or subliminal messaging that is going on behind the scenes -- the only denominator is that it works.. We may never find out what it is about Loreena's music that calms the domestic wildlife's inner-beast, but we know that it calms them long enough to where we can retain our insanity while they visit their grandparents...

Long life Loreena McKennitt!!!!

Random Thoughts

God it seems like I've been completely unable to breathe lately...

There have been a steady stream of projects since I last blogged -- which ironically came at a time when I had another small span of air so that I can come update this thing since it has cobwebs and all sorts of dust bunnies..

Such randomness in My head tonight..

HUNTER

I read a profile on a website tonight -- wherein one of their editors was a "Hunter S. Thompson" type.. and for some reason that profile made Me grin.. I didn't get a chance to meet Gonzo face to face, but I did sit in one of his "college tours" which was about as useful as sniffing airplane glue while trying to study Calculus.. He was plastered, wasted in every respect of the world.. The crowd grew restless and finally a voice in the back summed it up for all of us:

"You're one of the worst speakers in the world, but your writing is absolutely fucking brilliant...."

Now I haven't read any of his books - but I have watched the Johnny Depp depiction of the poor guy -- and the incredibly tormented life he chose to live.. While I can't adequately summarize My thoughts about him -- I can say that in just some of the blurbs I've caught of his -- there's a profound ... something ... about him.. An allure - not that I want to 'grow up just like him,' but someone who has plenty to say in the most odd ways imaginable.. He intrigues Me for whatever reason....

In any event - when I saw the profile mimic his style and portrayal -- I had to grin..

WHEN THE HEART STRIKES GOLD, TEARS WILL FALL

Yesterday I was working My ass off -- and listening to a bunch of movie soundtracks for another project I was working on.. Lo and behold - I came across one of My all time favorite songs by Garth Brooks -- To Make You Feel My Love.... Immediately I froze.. Tears started to well up -- and I had to find My girl.. The ballad.. The piano.. The lyrics.. The melody.. The heart and passion.. Some of you will know what I mean..

In the middle of My chaos - life all of a sudden turned exactly 90 degrees perpendicular to the ground.. It's one of those moments where you truly appreciate the world around you.. The love that surrounds you.. And realizing exactly how lucky you are.. It's a song that was always heavy for Me -- because I hadn't found anyone to share it with -- until now.. My girl gets it.. she understands it.. she knows when it hits - it hits hard.. And yesterday was no exception to that..

So it's always important to keep tabs of those songs that tug on the heart in just the right places, in just the right ways.. A friend of Mine added that she tries to avoid the likes of those songs - for the effect it would have.. I understand.. And have lived with the likes of that song for the last several years -- it carries an altogether different meaning than when I would hear it in My solitude.. Back then, it was all about hope -- coming from the movie "Hope Floats.."

Songs have a really affect on Me sometimes - but as danae and others can attest, it's given Me the gift to do what I love to do.. And the closer I embrace that - the closer I feel wonderfully whole and incredibly lucky..

I am very lucky - very much in love - and very thankful for all the gifts in My life.. I love you hon.. I love all of My friends, family, kidlets of the furry four-legged variety..

Tis the season...