Measuring the vulgarities around us....

I came across this article via a friend's blog.. And it just hit Me silly.. I admire and respect our friend's viewpoint - as the fundamental issue has to do with to what level do we allow ourselves to be exposed to the vanilla world.. I can see her point and on a fundamental level - I might even agree to a degree..

But then I turn My un-jaded eyes to the world around us ... look around.. Everyday, we're all "forced" to endure some sort of imagery, action, or statement which we don't agree with -- and may even judge the person on account of whether it was even appropriate to produce such an account for the world to see.. Whether it's watching violence in our TV news, or driving by the extremely unsettling anti-abortion billboards, or whether we see a public demonstration on our street corner.. Unless you stay home, lock yourself in, don't touch your computer, burn your newspaper, turn on your TV or radio and even unplug your phone -- you're bound to run across something in your day that just rubs your hair the wrong way..

That's just how life is unless you're in a pre-1980's Soviet Union or in today's China..

No matter how sterile we try to lead our lives, the Janet Jackson accidents (or non-accidents) will continue to affect us no matter if you walk through the mall and see the spiked hair, dog collar goth or whether you're standing in the checkout line and overhear an inappropriate discussion about God and abortions between the cashier and a customer when all you wanted to do is pay for your goods and walk out.. It's bound to happen and I walk through the rest of My day accepting that fact..

That's why when I look around at the "other vulgarities" of the world that day -- I guess I just don't see the issue with the couple on the bus.. They violated no law, their reaction was based on the original "freak" comment made by the bus driver and I simply do not see what harm was bestowed among the people on the bus that day.. The notion that parents would have to explain the couple to their children isn't any different than when parents have to explain why the police cars are down the street with crime scene tape around a vicious shooting.. It's no different than when you're driving down the highway and see an anti-abortion billboard and have to explain the meaning of it.. It's no different than when the child comes home from school and to have his/her parents explain what "gay" is after being called gay at the school playground.. It's no different than trying to rationalize a senseless act of 9/11 to a child..

Today's kids are subjected to an inordinate about of vulgarities and it's impossible to manage all of them.. More importantly, I grew up in a generation where you heard about stuff, you could see it, and ultimately you could decide how it affects you.. (but don't get Me started on the whole "protect the child" topic -- because there's a book in there somewhere....)

My point is - measuring, interpreting and incorporating the vulgarities around us is nothing new or profound.. Society has already scored us in whatever convenient category and the media, movies, TV, and pontiffs will continue to portray us in whatever light they want -- period.. We can't change that because as we all know: unless people are open to the idea - (at least to the point of understanding it) - then they won't get it nor will they even go as far as to respect it.. We can't change the perception - not when we have block parties like the annual celebration in Folsom, California each year of "scary people in leather and chains.." ::gasps in feigned horror::

The fact that this couple opted to put their lifestyle on display - only to follow it up with a public exchange about the lifestyle -- is pretty bold in My humble opinion.. Do I scold them, no.. Do I agree with their actions, no.. Why??

Because we *are* freaks..

Yes we are..

And I have no problem saying we're freaks, well ... because -- we are..

It's a harsh, negative, condescending word fueled by speculation, ignorance, and just plain bullish.. The insecure vanillas of the world use "freak" because they choose not to want to understand – and that’s their choice.. And that's why I believe it's not necessary to condemn or condone the couple's actions -- because it does come back to the matter of choice.. In as much as we have the power of choice to change the channel when we don't like the programming, in as much as we have the power of choice to cancel the subscription to a magazine that puts offensive content in its issues or when we choose to set aside our prospective purchases at the supermarket and walk out because we do not agree with the appropriate discussion between a cashier and customer -- it's all about choice.. People who did not want to observe the exchange or was offended by the couple could’ve exercised their choice by exiting the bus..

...and the couple clearly exercised their degree of "choice" by taking it to this level...

My point is - even if the couple took the leash off, sat stoically without responding to the bus driver's comments -- people are still going to call them "freaks" regardless.. But let's remove the collar and other fashion identifiers out there -- here we have a young couple, seemingly normal -- but they're still freaks .... WE'RE still freaks.. Merely removing the chains, smoothing down the hair, and keeping our thoughts to ourselves doesn't make any of us any less freaks..

We’re still going to be freaks whether we dress up in our leathers and chains or if we try to blend in with our vanilla society.. It simply doesn’t matter..

Deep down, I feel I would be a hypocrite if I went along with the notion that what the couple did was wrong.. I have has danae and other submissives in public in different situations wherein the “kink was showing” – whether it be by a prevalent collar, a rope harness, or by wearing something slutty.. Did I blatantly offend someone?? I have no idea.. Did I care?? Absolutely not.. They see far more upsetting things on CSI or on the real news.. Not when many of these vanillas are immersed in the ideals predicated by soap operas where there are countless lust affairs, extra-marital sex, murder, drug addictions and unwanted babies.. Not when we have publications like Cosmopolitan which borders on being a sex magazine which advocates 25 ways to get your man off.. Not when we have some politicians who want to re-write the Constitution to fit the Bible, when that’s not going to be possible at a time of armed conflict or by acquiring wealth..

Ultimately, I don't feel it's necessary for us to protect the vanilla world because the vanilla world is far beyond the help of our protection.. Not when we're constantly faced with a barrage of incredibly vulgar acts each and every single day.. No matter how much we try to sanitize ourselves, hide ourselves in our basement dungeons and closets: vanillas aren't going to change.. While I agree that the bus incident does nothing to promote the lifestyle in a favorable light -- it's time for all of us freaks to realize that there’s absolutely *nothing* we can do to ever promote the lifestyle in a favorable light..

Maybe that’ll be different in the next generation, but in the meanwhile, we are all Forever Freaks..