The Drama of FetLife

I must admit on the outside looking in ... it's pretty petty honestly..

Without going into the sordid details -- (which by the way I know of none except what little morsels that have been blown to the size of boulders throughout numerous threads, groups and blogs already) -- I'm amazed at how well we as a community can really screw things up quicker than anything..

I don't know the site owner, John.. I've read some of his stuff and honestly - I think his heart is in the right place.. That said, he's adding to several layers of pretty hefty bone-headed problems for the community .... but not without the lunatics who can't seem to keep their panties on at the first sight of a FIRE HYDRANT!!

Jesus people...

Why is it that we continually tout the basic principles of "personal responsibility" and yet we can't even tie our own shoelaces without causing an international calamity?!?!?!?

Personal responsibility STARTS WITH YOU.. Personal responsibility ENDS WITH YOU..

Period..

If you can't grasp even the most fundamental understanding of what personal responsibility means -- then you're absolutely not ready to join a collective of folks who do get the concept.. If you can't keep your panties from twisting up just because of the shift of the wind -- then you're definitely not ready to join a collective of folks who can hold it together.. If you can't exercise restraint, call for diplomacy, or keep a level head during the middle of this "apparent crisis of biblical proportions" then I can completely understand why you're so deeply troubled whenever your TV plays the Geico commercials and the computer generated lizard..

C'mon people..

Use your head..

John has a whole wheel barrel load that he has to rectify and to be held accountable for.. If he's going to create a community and then violate his own terms of use -- then that's not much of a community.. It reeks of poor judgment if not poor actions.. But he has at least started down the path of recovery -- and it's a step in a logical direction that should've happened in the very beginning.. It's not as though I'm cutting him any slack -- because honestly, if anyone is brave enough to start a community like he's done, then you should also have the foresight to know that there will be days like today..

It's the reasons why we had fire drills in elementary school.. To practice for the unthinkable..

Yet....

A calamitous experience like an all out "war" that's happening in the halls of FetLife right now is also precipitated by the inherent lack of basic respect that we should have for one another.. The scathing posts about John's decision - rightly or not - should be met with caution and embraced with the demeanor that speaks more volumes when words are carefully selected instead of spitefully lunged like a balestra move.. Instead of adding more vitriol to the issue -- seek to remedy through a positive exchange that upholds the honor and respect we should have towards one another..

And if you can't act like an adult.. If you can't elevate your vernacular to the level beyond a petulant schoolyard brawl .... then please exercise your right to leave the group.. If you don't like how John is running his version of the lifestyle community that it's entirely within your ability to take the nearest exit and leave the plane in an orderly and efficient manner..

For myself -- I haven't decided if I'm going to participate or if I should simply follow out the exit doors myself.. It speaks a lot of a person when they can't truthfully relay the facts of what happened and arbitrarily apply a standard that has no substance, no form and no structure whatsoever.. For what FetLife was going to be -- it's unfortunate that the growing pains caught up to John in a way that could splinter the lifestyle even more than it is today..

I don't want to waste my time with the drama -- and judging by the length of this post -- I think I've dedicated the amount of time I am willing to offer..