Where is the line?

To Spank or not to Spank -- that is the question.

...unfortunately the answer is completely convoluted and ultimately impossible to apply universally...

What is permissible or not -- is nothing more than a futile, selective interpretation of what is in your local laws and how they are interpreted by your local police. Yes -- POLICE. Because you don't get the luxury of defending the laws of consensual sex and play when the police arrive there. That's because the police are interpreting what they are seeing and determining if any laws APPEAR to being broken. Thus any exercise of trying to talk your way out when your submissive is hanging from the rafters in an elaborate shibari harness -- becomes effectively MOOT pending your day in court.

I recently joined a FL group that really tests the borderline of where I consider giving not just legal advice, but in someways they are leaning over the edge by offering improper legal advice which if someone tried to argue -- they would ultimately do more harm than good.

That said - I'm not trying to discourage people from looking into the laws of their surrounding municipality -- in fact, I'd encourage that if you happen to have a kink-friendly local LAWYER that is familiar and well educated in the statutes, zoning laws and codes that affect our lifestyle. Please notice the word LAWYER here. Make sure you get a local lawyer because they are going to know the law better than someone who maybe a lawyer in a different state on some group like FL or somewhere else. They aren't going to know what's legal and what isn't -- because the law is unique to every town, city and municipality from one coast to the other.

I don't mean to mince words here - but some lawyers do this kind of thing for a living. You don't ask your auto mechanic to take a look at your TV do you just because he's good with tools? You don't ask your psychiatrist to re-set your broken arm or to fill a cavity in your hurt tooth just because they are a doctor, right? So please take heed and do not try to get your legal advice from anyone other than someone who is intimately familiar with your LOCAL and STATE criminal laws.

What is permissible, allowed and legal is so wide reaching across the entire spectrum and it's impossible to ascertain what could be considered a dangerous weapon in one jurisdiction - only to be considered legal in another. What act, what sex toy, what seemingly innocuous wooden spoon or nipple clamps could be grounds for arrest and seizure depending on where you are in the country. Even dildos and self-erotica in some instances can be labeled as "self-abuse" and can be prosecuted as such.

That's why - in some ways - forums like this on FL and other boards and sites can actually do a tremendous disservice to the community as a whole because the advice is inevitably going to be fundamentally faulty. It's acceptable if you want to find out some of the "potential pitfalls" you may experience during your BDSM play -- but quite literally, every single form of bondage and sadomasochistic act can be interpreted as a violation of some law or statute. Even the notion of consensual behavior can be summarily dismissed as there is (for example) generally no provision in the law for "consensual assault."

We all run the risk of some legal involvement with any act we do to ourselves or to one another. That's why some bdsm conferences, clubs and dungeons employ legal counsel to ensure that their liability (criminal and civil) has been mitigated along with the potential for any involvement with local law enforcement. Some of these entities go to great lengths to employ safety measures and codes of conduct to ensure that they are meeting the guidelines, codes and laws where these events occur. In some instances, these groups actually work with local law enforcement so that they are aware that such an event is taking place.

Hence - the best and most reliable advice - if you're concerned that you're close to being in violation of the law -- is to hire a lawyer who can answer those questions for you. They are bound by the attorney/client privilege and to receive such advice is generally doesn't require a hefty retainer. It's the only way to ensure that you're not setting yourself for a tragic end to something that potentially could've been avoided.

(CAVEAT: No, I'm not a lawyer, but then if you've read this posting then even if I *was* a lawyer it ultimately wouldn't matter because I wouldn't know what YOUR statutes and laws are.... Get yourself a lawyer and ask these questions!)

We have no culture....

Oh - the age lines grew a bit more today..

We travel to and from Denver quite a few times a year.. To try to find some decent entertainment so that the multiple hour drive doesn't -- is a little difficult sometimes..

Both danae and I thought that we could use trivia to help pass the time ... so for Christmas we saw a couple of trivia card games in the "one-spot" in Target..

We picked up two card games:
1.) History
2.) Popular Culture

The latter ties to the subject of this post...

*whimpers*

We have no culture.....

danae is reading off cards and we have no CLUE who or what some of these things go to!! OMG..... I felt like we aged another 10 years after that round of answers and yet it's apparent that we know more about history than we do about what's in the world today..

LIFE LESSON LEARNED: it's okay to admit our age, but it's devastating when we realize how out of touch we become as we get older....