Mentoring Part 1 .... The Program

I love how the lifestyle has a very diverse and expansive array of experience, knowledge and viewpoints. In our midst are a lot of incredibly smart, insightful and passionate people dedicated in their pursuit to the lifestyle as it applies to them. But just like in real life, differences will likely abound and even though I might not agree with a lot of things out there, just having a working dialogue and exchange is worth it. For dominants especially, this means we need to put our egos in check and respect other various approaches even if they don't necessarily coincide with our Path and beliefs.

That said - I do find a significant number of dominants lack certain foundational elements that inevitably causes problems in their dynamic. Problems that, by and large can easily be avoided if a simple investment is made from the onset to correct the approach that tempers the thirst for power and control. To install personal and wide-range responsibilities coupled with foresight. That's why I've always been supportive of the concept of a dominant's retreat or mentorship program wherein they can learn the correct foundational components and how to apply that in their daily lives.

So when one of the groups on FL recently posted a query about a mentorship program for dominants - I was intrigued and eager to read on! The preamble of the program talked about personal growth and development. "Alright ... tell Me more!"

There are tiers of development ... m'kay..... with a boot camp approach, a one-on-one 9 month apprenticeship all culminating to a single "wrap up" deal. I'm okay so far - I'm liking what I'm seeing. But I'm a sucker for the details as I want to know *what* the teaching is going to be about. Is it going to have a session about personal responsibility in the M/s, D/s dynamic and in the community? What about employing the foundational elements for you and your submissive and slave? What about how to best cope with long distance relationships over the long haul? What about jealousy, control, and the expectations in the immediate, short and long term? What about Poly, open dynamics and play partner agreements?

Eagerly I keep looking for the details .... that .... will .... teach .....

Wait, what?! .... sex .... flogging .... rope bondage .... crops.....??????

*sighs softly*

Oh so close.

I don't mean to besmirch what this group is trying to accomplish as I completely understand the other need to help tops and dominants learn the techniques of bdsm play in dungeons and play parties. But to call it a "mentoring program" and to have it be hyper-specific to just scene play makes it slightly disingenuous. Just because someone has a badge to show off, doesn't mean they will be a good partner in anything but a bdsm scene.

To put it analogously - I can go to a conference on heart surgery, finding out about all the tools, techniques, and knowledge of heart surgery ... but it doesn't make Me a heart surgeon.

I define mentoring along the same route as a counselor. Not just a teacher, but someone who has an wide reaching investment in bringing another person along in the broadest terms of life. While it could be a difference of opinion - or a difference of word choice, I see that it could potentially be confusing to others to know that I've just attended a mentorship program ordained by a local group.

That carries some decent credibility with it -- and in My estimation, a lot of responsibility attached to it.