Legal Thoughts....

The standard caveats apply: “I’m not a professional, but I play one on TV. Your mileage will vary. Take what you want, discard the rest and anything you read here you seriously can’t rely on.”

That said - we’re all fucked.

I’m not blogging about this to scare people. Contrary to what a few souls choose to believe, the threat is there. This is not an urban legend as some on FL would contend. More on that in a minute.

Our story starts today with a seemingly innocent version of he said / she said.

That by itself isn’t unusual. In fact, we live in a society that is filled with he said / she said. But what we also don’t stop and realize is that many of our laws are woven into the whole he said / she said notion and that, the bard’s tale will tell us -- herein lies the rub.

She says one thing, he says another. Accusations start flying and before we know it, someone makes a call to 911. It happens folks. While the naysayers out there contend want to contend there is absolutely no harm for lifestylers, it’s that kind of naivete’ that is begging for trouble.

Now I’m all in favor of folks giving differing points of view and injecting their perspective on such. But to be so dismissive and resistant to reason is unfortunate. The endless “prove it” threads I’ve seen on FL dismiss common sense and for what it’s worth, I’m providing my own mini-list of urban legends not to fan the flames - but those willing to discuss and debate the merits of my thoughts are always invited to do so:


There’s no law against bdsm / lifestyle practices

TRUE, but... aren’t there laws that forbid assault? Aren’t there laws that govern unlawful detainment and outlaw kidnapping? Just because there isn’t a document, statute or law that expressly mentions the practice of sadomasochism doesn’t mean that you can’t be charged with a crime under some other criminal heading or statute.

Case and point: a flogging scene.

Seems innocent, right? Look at the elements of what’s happening in that situation: two consenting people engaging in an activity where one party physically strikes another party with strands of material designed to be used as a whip or a flog.

“Aha!” Most observers would exclaim, “consent is the key word to that phrase.” I would agree except that at least under Colorado law, there are no provisions or affirmative defenses for consensual assault. None. But there are provisions for boxers, football players and others to engage in physically assaulting activities, right? True - but in the case of boxers, they are licensed and regulated to inflict harm on one another. Football, hockey and other sports are governed by the accepted protocols of the sport. Any player that exceeds those protocols not only gets punished by their league or governing body - but in some cases criminal charges can be levied.

Where’s that provision for bdsm practitioners and lifestylers? Good question. I haven’t found one.

By and large most of us subscribe to the consensual aspect of the lifestyle. That aspect alone can warrant a whole book by itself because of the complications and difficulties of how it’s established in the lifestyle. In football terms, it’s that line of knowing what is a clean hit and what draws a personal foul.

A submissive, slave or bottom can consent, go through with the scene or activity, then go to the police to say she was beaten. The burden is on the dominant or the top to prove that it was consent.


But I have a slave contract that she signed saying I could do XYZ to her. This should protect me.

FALSE. A slave contract carries no weight or legal standing. Period.


Aha! There’s no proof of a bdsm/lifestyle case ever going to trial

FALSE. Again - there’s no statute that prohibits the practice of sadomasochistic activities outright. But you still CAN be charged with the elements of assault (flogging, caning, whipping), kidnapping and wrongful imprisonment (bondage), sexually violent acts (enhancers added when a sexual act is combined with things like violence, bondage, etc.)

When you combine the likes of assault (flogging) with sexual assault (intercourse, oral, whatever) - then that is an aggravating circumstance.

On the record, it’ll look like someone being charged with assault. How many assault cases are recorded each year? Over 800,000? How many rape cases? Over 90,000? It’s naïve to think that it doesn’t happen just because it can’t be easily researched. The cases exist even if they aren’t emblazoned and in flashing neon.

So are the police, courts and process are out to get us!

NOT REALLY, BUT... each jurisdiction looks at these kinds of cases differently. What may be accepted in one county in the nation is going to be looked at much differently in another part of the country. How far do the police go to interfere largely depends on who is running the show and how they interpret such behavior in their communities. It’s not always a “community standard test,” but sometimes your population does govern the policy and the enforcement of that policy. By and large, the courts don’t want to know what’s happening between closed doors as long as consensual, private, not involving kids or anything of that sort.

However advocates will contend that submissives, slaves and bottoms are nothing but abused people, stuck in an abusive cycle who cannot rationally understand what’s right because they have been brainwashed into thinking that they want to be locked up, beaten, and fucked repeated over and over again. These advocates see the bottom half of the lifestyle scale as being damaged and they fight to rescue as many as they can from the sadistic evil-doers. They generally believe there is no such thing as consensual bdsm play and that the lifestyle needs to be taken down.


Okay, so I’m fucked.

TRUE, but… this is where some common sense approach comes down to meeting someone for a scene or for something much more. There’s a lot of trust that has to be established by both dominants and submissives before going that next step. Consensuality is at the heart of most of this and one can only build it through trust, honesty and communication.

Play smart.

Use your head.

Be honest to yourself and to whom you are with and create that level of trust between the both of you. While we all can get caught up in the heat of the moment and do things on the fly - it can also lead things to go awry.

If you’re going to cross the line, be ready to pay for it in ways you may not even begin to realize. The law can act very swift in these cases and the possible outcomes can ruin your lives forever.

Don’t be freaked out - but be reasonable and aware of what’s going on around you.