A friend of ours on FB recently teased all of her friends with a Ham & Bean soup meal she was preparing for her Master. Naturally all of us clamored on to her post and wanted to road trip it on over for dinner. The trek for us would be 15+ hours and while tantalizing ... also slightly impractical.
A light bulb went off....
I started having these wild ideas about a "meeting in the middle."
Consider this:
- Invited couples and other folks that "get it."
- All converging not at someone's house, but some rental condo or somewhere that can house 6-8 people.
- The slaves get together and form the menu.
- No one pre-prepares anything. That's the rule.
- Specialized cooking equipment is permissible to a point.
- Assignments are shared and decided upon.
- Shopping lists are prepared and distributed accordingly
- We all converge for the weekend.
Here's the twist:
- No scene play, those lifestyle trinkets and attire are permissible
- It won't be a high protocol dinner in the traditional sense (no needing to apply any added pressures)
- Just a gathering of like minded folk, breaking bread and enjoying each other's company.
Shared cost for the condo, shared responsibilities of the meal, everyone responsible for themselves for transportation and other travel intangibles. good companionship, good location, a crackling fire, fine company and a common bond of people coming together to celebrate the life we lead.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Saturday, October 08, 2011
Consensual Manipulation
Bending ... yielding ... twisting ... turning ...
Whenever we hear of the word: "manipulation" - it casts such a negative blanket. Manipulation implies a contradiction to free will. It implies a controlling relationship - whether that relationship is watching TV or what we do in the bedroom or the instructions we're given at work. We forget that manipulation is constantly around us from the programs we watch - to the advertisements we're subjected to - to those that we look up to - those who teach us and those we subject our lives to.
Historically - the term manipulation is generally applied to cults and other unsavory groups ... where leaders would employ tactics and tools to ensure their flock remained following. The argument can be made that religion - by and large - is also manipulative. Immediately the hands go up - saying: "people are not forced to go or coerced to stay in church."
True.
But folks enter the lifestyle under the same understanding. They can walk in on their own, they can walk out.
In it's most common form the lifestyle is predicated with a sense of consensual manipulation. submissives and slaves conform to the will of their dominants, Masters and Mistresses. Sometimes it's just a matter of a rule: "go over there, do this." Other times it can be more overt: "beg for it, you know you want it, now..."
It seems basic enough... and yet sometimes it still snags us up a bit.
Why?
Because eventually it comes down to the doormat issue. That topic alone deserves its own posting - but people don't like the connotation of what it means to be manipulated to the point where the capability of making decisions has been surrendered to someone else. It makes that person seem weak - when they aren't. It gives the perception of abuse - when it isn't.
Consensual manipulation comes down to degrees. Just like anything else in the lifestyle - how far you tend to want to take the path down the Rabbit Hole is completely and totally up to each of us. If it's not your brand of punch - move along. But take a moment to become self-aware of the manipulation that constantly swirls around us. Be mindful of the roots of manipulation as it pertains to the lifestyle.
It maybe unsavory to contemplate that we're manipulative in our dynamics ... but we can't ignore how it enhances it.
Whenever we hear of the word: "manipulation" - it casts such a negative blanket. Manipulation implies a contradiction to free will. It implies a controlling relationship - whether that relationship is watching TV or what we do in the bedroom or the instructions we're given at work. We forget that manipulation is constantly around us from the programs we watch - to the advertisements we're subjected to - to those that we look up to - those who teach us and those we subject our lives to.
Historically - the term manipulation is generally applied to cults and other unsavory groups ... where leaders would employ tactics and tools to ensure their flock remained following. The argument can be made that religion - by and large - is also manipulative. Immediately the hands go up - saying: "people are not forced to go or coerced to stay in church."
True.
But folks enter the lifestyle under the same understanding. They can walk in on their own, they can walk out.
In it's most common form the lifestyle is predicated with a sense of consensual manipulation. submissives and slaves conform to the will of their dominants, Masters and Mistresses. Sometimes it's just a matter of a rule: "go over there, do this." Other times it can be more overt: "beg for it, you know you want it, now..."
It seems basic enough... and yet sometimes it still snags us up a bit.
Why?
Because eventually it comes down to the doormat issue. That topic alone deserves its own posting - but people don't like the connotation of what it means to be manipulated to the point where the capability of making decisions has been surrendered to someone else. It makes that person seem weak - when they aren't. It gives the perception of abuse - when it isn't.
Consensual manipulation comes down to degrees. Just like anything else in the lifestyle - how far you tend to want to take the path down the Rabbit Hole is completely and totally up to each of us. If it's not your brand of punch - move along. But take a moment to become self-aware of the manipulation that constantly swirls around us. Be mindful of the roots of manipulation as it pertains to the lifestyle.
It maybe unsavory to contemplate that we're manipulative in our dynamics ... but we can't ignore how it enhances it.
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