The Pearls (or perils) of Cosmo...

My girl gets Cosmo in the mail.

...and like most issues of Cosmo, I just have to shake My head and cringe a bit.

I know that women take different things from the magazine. Some look at the new styles, others look at new make up application techniques and others find some helpful stuff in their articles. But the articles that bother Me the most are the ones where celebs are put on display in some sort of "fashion showdown."

In this last issue danae shared with Me, there's a "flattering vs. fattening" one page comparison. Taking the likes of Reese Witherspoon and calling her fattening ... really? They also pick on Jessica Simpson and Khloe' Kardashian who have very public weight issues - not really fair in My opinion.

In another article there's "Beauty Showdown: Try This / Not That." Again a side by side comparison with celebrities ... and this time they pick Ginnifer Goodwin against Heidi Klum. Now I'm no fashion expert - but I know some of these celebrities style ... of COURSE Heidi is going to be a bit more outrageous than Ginnifer because that's how Heidi is.... Thankfully one would think that Heidi doesn't really give a shit what Cosmo says and does her own thing.

... and I applaud that.

Now I got as far as "The Truth About Faking It" in this issue and I knew a blog entry was going to be necessary because the premise of the article was: "Don't Fake it Day." This line clinched it for Me: "90% say they have no intention of telling their partner they fake it."

The article tries to convince women to not fake it - by giving tips on how to achieve an orgasm. The article doesn't address the whole faking by lying tangent which to Me is the larger problem. I don't want a woman to fake it in order to make Me feel good. Seriously - if you're not getting close to orgasm, I want to know because I don't want you to be frustrated because things just feel off.

Honesty should always prevail over just trying to make Me feel good ...

But I digress...

To be fair to Cosmo, Maxim is just as bad - but Maxim spends at least some of the time lampooning the topics they cover while secretly conveying the point. While I can gleefully thumb through the playful "20 Ways to Use Your Underwear During Sex" articles in Cosmo, it's the remaining self-image crippling articles that bother Me the most. To Me - it's not what some unrealstic-Barbie-esque type perception that matters.

For this Guy at least - I am true to Myself and the things I like. I don't need Cosmo to tell Me what *I* personally like or don't like. I ALREADY KNOW what I like and what I don't. I don't need to know that french cut bikini briefs are in this season ... I like what I like.

But this isn't the case for women. There are incredible pressures to "fit in" and be up on whether or not "green is the new black" or is it brown, or mauve... To be hip and not frumpy or god forbid "fattening." These shoes don't go with that skirt and after living with a girly girl for the last 8 years, I realize it's a rather complex and obscure formula you women go through.

Guys usually don't go through this.

Although I guess I should say: "most guys" because I suppose there are those that obsess about such things. I just don't see the merit of it. I like a style - that's the style I want. I don't need someone to be critical or criticize it.

It simply is.

I just wish that there wasn't such an obsession with it. It's just not a Cosmo thing, because if you're a fan of watching the red carpet shows - it's the same thing ... just live and on TV. Same thing with the awards ceremonies and our reality TV programs like Project Runway (sorry hon). But it's become our culture to criticize someone different by the way they look, how they dress, how they apply their makeup or how big or skinny they might be. What their artistic vision might be and how it compares to someone else ... we live in a comparative society and at times ... it really sucks.

What matters is not if you fit the Cosmo ideal this month (i.e. blue eye shadow makes a comeback, page 84) ... but what your significant other likes. danae does a great job looking at those things and make purchases she knows I would want to see her in. Alternatively, I go with her and pick it out - or we shop online together. The same thing that teacup is learning ... My style is Mine alone. I don't pretend to be politically correct - although I am reasonably focused on appropriateness ... and that to Me, while potentially disappointing - is also necessary and realistic.

It's up to Me to convey and communicate that so that they both know what I desire to see them in. That ... is what matters.